Steph Morrow Shenanigans

Ramblings of a lunatic.

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  • We’re all mad here.

    I’m reposting this as someone I know said it resonated with them.

    I deleted it as thought it might be too deep or personal…

    But here you go world, have it back:

    Tonight’s thoughts….

    Someone I know posted about ADHD and RSD.

    I’ve always felt like an outsider. I’ve struggled making friends.

    Struggled keeping them too.

    For a long time, I’ve wondered if I have Bi Po D.

    Recently I’m like, does my obsession with colours and patterns and ordering things actually mean I’m autistic.

    And taking things a bit too literally sometimes…

    Misunderstanding people…

    Then recently ADHD has reared its head.

    Would explain my impulsiveness, I guess.

    I am tired.

    There’s no straightforward ‘diagnosis’ path.

    And if you go that route, am I just putting a label on what a pain in the arse I can be.

    I wouldn’t want to give myself an excuse.

    Contraception has been a massive issue.

    Fuck My Life.

    The injection made me crazy. I’ve tried various pills. I feel better without it, but I can’t trust myself without it either.

    Or anyone else.

    I don’t want any medications anyway.

    But I’d love to understand myself better.

    Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria resonates with me.

    It’s not just goodbye to me.

    It’s a failure as a person.

    I wasn’t enough.

    Something I’ve done wasn’t good enough and I should have tried better.

    Should try harder.

    Depending on the point of things me trying harder can make things worse ):

    I’ve always felt that no one understands the magnitude of how I feel in those moments.

    It wasn’t like ‘Oh I’m sad I got dumped’

    It was like the end of my future has just plummeted off a dark cliff and I’m soon to follow,

    In the dark and rain.

    My heart and feelings slipping the same way.

    The Balrog sucking you down without meaning to follow.

    It’s so hard to explain to others that feel things in a ‘normal’ way

    When, when I say I feel like dying and this is breaking me

    I truly mean it.

    Is this just normal and I’m being over dramatic?

    Is it Bi Po, Autism or ADHD

    Or am I just mad.

    We’re all mad here though. – Quoting Alice in Wonderland, in case anyone doesn’t know lol

    I dunno that it’s normal at any r8

    Let you know if I figure it out….

    🖤

  • Cigarettes & Star dust.

    Grey wispy smoke

    Dancing orange flame

    Sometimes I wonder

    If I’m just insane.

    Heart on my sleeve

    Candles between us

    Breeze through the

    Ancient oak trees

    Rustling reed leaves

    Ripples on the pond

    Stars reflecting before us

    Before long you’ll be gone.

    Autumn is around us

    Sweet sun kissed apples

    Longing to be picked

    Souls seeming to grabble

    You turned out such a dick.

    Trusted you to be something

    You assured me you were

    Should have heard my senses humming

    With the nervous energy

    Willing us both to behave

    Didn’t expect the heresy

    And you to see me

    as the enemy.

    Can’t believe it’s all me

    Thoughts spiral

    Maybe I couldn’t see

    Hope it doesn’t go viral.

    Heartbroken soul.

    Too used to this role

    Someone always better

    Someone pushing into this hole.

    Angelic angels

    No idea of the pain they cause

    Guilty of this too

    When I stop and pause.

    Grey wispy smoke lingering

    Possibility of Rain

    Hunger in between us

    And nothing for either of us to gain.

    Never wanna feel this again

    Can’t be deal with the terrible aching pain.

  • Heart, deep dive.

    There’s few that have made it into this heart

    But once they have, they always have a home.

    Even when they’ve fucked me over

    And done terrible things

    In some cases, the scars I’ll wear forever more.

    But this year I’ve realised I still do and will always care.

    Which is probably why I feel so deeply

    The pain of you All walking away.

    It’s hard to gain my trust

    Or maybe I’m too easy to fool.

    Nieve.

    I’m hard work, emotional, insecure

    Sometimes I look back on conversations

    And wonder exactly what I was even thinking.

    Some of the blame is mine

    For trusting people who possibly predictably hurt me.

    But some of the blame is yours

    For not understanding how deeply

    I truly felt.

    I try to always be honest.

    I try to always do right.

    Sometimes the darkness swallows me.

    And I claw my way back into the light

    Any way possible

    It’s hard to understand that

    When you think and feel like someone not me.

    After I never know, if it’s me

    Or you.

    That was the really the issue

    Did I cause all this

    Was it always my fault

    Or do I just empathise with others

    Whose souls also linger in the shadows

    Wrapped in a comforting blanket of darkness

    Still sparkling none the less.

    🖤

  • Real Talk.

    When you feel like writing about something to get it all out but you don’t quite know where to begin…

    This year has been a weird year. Moved back home and have changed jobs. Not really sure what I want to do with this life.

    Had been chatting to a friend, daily, who I’d known since school.

    Also going to counselling. Highly recommend this, especially to anyone with a busy head and mixed up thoughts.

    So I went through a shitty relationship in my teenage years. Think I’d been carting that horse around for a long time. So this year I’ve put some of that to bed. It’s been a big deal actually. I’m proud of myself for it. Thought I was ready for a fresh start.

    Was brave. Met up with the school friend and we seemed to really hit it off. Had some fun. Little alarm bells were going off in the distance, very quietly, over shadowed by the happiness I felt at reconnecting. Particularly that I was paying for everything because he had no job and I wanted to do fun stuff…

    Then he started bringing up a person who had just split up with my ex.

    Apparently they were friends again after her splitting up with him.

    This all came to a head when I found out they’d gone running off into the night together to look at the moon.

    What. The. Fuck.


    I tried to make light of it initially and then decided no, this is the year I am brave.

    So I spent a significant amount of time piecing together a message to explain how I was feeling: Uncomfortable.

    Day 1: The resulting factor was the ‘friend’ was completely horrible to me.
    Day 2: Ignored me for a day.
    Day 3: Talked it out and everything seemed, in his words, ‘back on track’.
    Day 4: And then he was weird with me, talking to me but not quite himself. And I was still in shock from the horridness of Day 1.
    Day 5: Silence all day and then a shitty message ‘I can’t do this anymore. Things can’t go back to what they were’ or words to that effect.

    Day 7: We had plans which I later found out he went and did with this other girl. Last message received that day; he’ll be okay ‘This soon will pass’.

    He’s ghosted me ever since.

    I want to talk about the darkness that completely engulfed me. All consuming black hole that swallowed me up.

    We don’t talk about this enough. Didn’t when I was a teenager. Dealt with it all on my own. What a mess.

    So here it is;
    It was fucking awful.
    Rejection is one thing.
    Being rejected for someone who just split up with your ex from your teenage years, the baggage of which you’ve only just properly dealt with yourself; horrific.

    Luckily I was already in counselling. Big shout out to my counsellor who is the most amazing, kind, understanding lady. If anyone reading this feels the way I did please reach out. They help you unravel your thoughts and climb back out of the back hole, on your own in some ways, which gives you your sparkly powers back.

    Also talk to people. I’ve messaged a select few but my gosh the power of their opinions, refreshing perspectives, random chats about other things, has helped in ways they probably don’t appreciate themselves. So Thank you to those individuals too 🖤

    The black hole:
    Basically this is as the name suggests. So frigging low. Like I fell down a bottomless pit. I actually went off food. I am a foody. That is Unheard Of.

    Didn’t want to do anything… normally I’m happy in my own company and I love a project. Couldn’t bring myself to do anything. Just sat there on the sofa. Gosh dogs are special aren’t they? They looked after me 100% and were my motivation to still try to keep a bit of routine and I needed to go to work, despite how hollow it felt, so I could buy them food and stuff.

    The last few months have been spent focusing on the little things. I shall list them, instead of rambling on…
    • Self love, treating myself to one thing a week… mostly this was purchasing (and still is) nice out fits for things that are going to happen in the future. Also, for me, it was taking some time to read. Having a shower. Tidying up. Different lovely walks with the dogs.
    • Time out with friends and family. Gosh I am so grateful for the people I’ve spent time with over the last few months 🖤
    • I made a couple of signs. One of them reminding me to Love myself. The other a Happiness Board, where I use post it notes to jot down the little things that make my heart sing. From enjoying some peace, a good counselling session, finishing a book.. to lovely outings with people or nice meals
    • Got away, for a break and fresh air, new scenery – the lake district, everyone should visit at least once in their lives. Especially Beatrix Potter’s house and world. Idolise that inspiring lady now.
    • Got a new tattoo – don’t recommend this to everyone lol But I covered up some scars from my teenage years with something more positive.

    Some of the stuff felt a bit hollow at first. Like I was going through the actions but not enjoying it like I usually would.. like eating. Still a bit in awe that I could just loose my appetite.

    Very, very gradually the colour has leaked back in to life though. I’m still not 100% there yet, else I probably wouldn’t be sat here reflecting on it all now.

    But it was so important to feel all those feelings and I just thought I’d share how I came to be here.

    At this point.

    *I also saged my whole house and cast magical witchy protection spells over my space to cleanse it and make it feel like mine again

  • I’m sorry.

    I’m sorry;
    I’m sorry for being insecure although I feel like with the history it should have been more understandable.
    I’m sorry for not trusting you, despite knowing you for a long time.
    I’m sorry for my anxiety and that you didn’t understand it.
    I’m sorry for being a lot when I only mean to be a little.
    I’m sorry for being loud when you probably needed quiet.
    I’m sorry for seeking refuge in people who you feel are villains.
    – funny how the current Hurt suddenly makes theirs seem insignificant
    I’m sorry that you pushing me away made me feel like I wanted to die.
    I’m sorry I felt there was hope we’d work when years ago I’d already cried.
    I’m sorry for holding on when I know I should move on.
    I’m sorry that my feelings seem to always relate to songs.
    I’m sorry that your silence has sent me into a black hole.
    I’m sorry that I’m too much for you

    and I understand there’s others better.

  • The Secret Diary of Bridget Florence Mariella, Miniature Bull Terrier

    Week 1

    Monday 2nd May 2022

    What a strange day! There I was beating my brother up and suddenly these two humans came into the house, had a chat with the usual humans and then proceeded to gently pick me up & carry me down the long front path, where my brothers, sisters and I never go. The usual family seemed a little sad and said goodbye to me, and the new humans placed me in a cage in the back of a car. I’ve been in one of these a couple of times previously and I’m not sure I enjoyed the experiences as both times involved needles – once to test my ears and the other for vaccinations & microchips… I feel a little nausea at the thought…

    The journey was long, and I slept most of the way. I was awoken as we started down a bumpy track. I caught glimpses of trees from the window and could hear other dogs barking. Thankfully the new humans rescued me, as I’m embarrassed to say I had been a bit car sick on the way. I was soon cleaned up & digging into some much-needed grub. As I ate, I took in my surroundings and the two new humans. It all seemed nice enough, so I felt myself relax. 

    The new humans told me I was going to meet my new brother. I was picked up and I could not believe my eyes when four screeching aliens appeared before me! My mother had specifically told me aliens didn’t exist and to think about things logically, but it was hard to do so with the writhing noisy dog-worms jumping around us. I hid my nose under the arm of the girl holding me and prayed for the best. 

    We went for a little walk and the excitement subsided. I was watching one larger dog-worm who was bubbling over with happiness and whizzing around as fast as his legs could go. The other three dog-worms were taken away and the girl, larger dog-worm and I remained at the field. We mooched around a little and I was carefully placed on the floor. The dog-worm smelt of dog and approached me to sniff me in return. I tried placing my paw on him to check he was real, and he growled at me, a frightening sound. The other human reappeared and we sat in the field, and I tried speaking to him again, but he didn’t seem to appreciate me touching him. I couldn’t help but like the look of him though as he ran around in joy, and he seemed to particularly like the girl who had been holding me too.

    We went inside the house and the humans had mugs of tea. I kept watching the dog-worm whose name I was realised was ‘Darwin’. He also seemed to be watching me, warily observing. He came closer and stood stiffly, growling a little. I cowered a little in fear – who knows what these alien dogworms are capable of?! 

    Suddenly, he wiggled his butt at me, wagging his tail, a gesture I could appreciate as plain as day: the invitation to play. A wonderful game of chase ensued with delightful butt wiggling, laughter, and scampering glee. He’s obviously a kind dog-worm and not as alien as I first envisioned. The humans said he didn’t really play with other dogs like this, so I felt privileged to be able to hang out with him.

    Later the girl put Darwin & I were back in the car, and we were taken to a different house. It smelt strange and I met another human. I realised the girl was called Steph & the other human Terry. 

    As the evening closed in, I was placed in a crate in their lounge. I was so tired I fell asleep instantly.

    Tuesday 3rd May 2022

    My first proper day in this new life. I slept pretty well last night and only woke a couple of times and not for very long. I just forgot where I was the first time but could hear Darwin breathing deeply in his sleeping bag in the crate next to mine, so realised I was safe and not alone quickly. The second time I needed the bathroom but again I settled back into sleep easily afterwards. I think jetlag from our long journey yesterday really knocked my paws off.

    The morning was a regimented procedure. I was allowed out to play for a while, then I was given some treats and put back in my crate whilst Darwin went for his ‘morning constitution’, out the front door. When he & Steph returned, Darwin was put in his crate for a delicious smelling breakfast, and I was hand fed my own breakfast in the garden by Steph. It was so tasty that I nearly accidentally nibbled her hands as well! 

     Once Steph had finished her cup of tea, Darwin & I were bundled back into the car and arrived back down the bumpy, tree ladened track. Darwin explained this place was a dog kennels and Steph’s Mum (the other new human) & Dad owned it. 

    I was placed in a pen next to the other three dog-worms from yesterday. Darwin went in the pen with the three dog-worms. He explained they were his Grandad, Mum & Sister. I politely said hello through the bars and was relieved to find that the other three dog-worms seemed just as nice as Darwin, although Grandad-Dusty was a little stern and grumpy.

    Steph disappeared off to work. Darwin explained she has a new job and so must go into the office to concentrate. We were left to play at the kennels for the day. I had so much fun meeting the humans that worked at the kennels and learning more about the dog-worms. 

    When Steph collected us that evening, she also collected a bigger crate for me. It replaced my current crate, and I was glad to see there was space away from my bed, just in case of accidents. 

    Wednesday 4th May 2022

    Slept a bit better last night, although my bed was hard and lumpy. It just consists of some pieces of snug rug. I had a couple of accidents and I’m embarrassed to say I managed to walk in it. It reduced me to tears but luckily Steph came to my rescue. I’m not sure I really wanted a rinse down in the kitchen sink with some hibiscrub & warm water, but at least it got rid of the horrid smell.

    Afterwards Steph & I played with a thing called a ‘snuffle matt’. Mine’s in the shape of a big yellow sunflower. I love it! It’s such fun sniffing out biscuits in amongst it’s soft inviting ruffles. I felt pretty tired afterwards though, so enjoyed a nap when I got to the kennels. It didn’t last very long though, as Darwin was allowed to hang out with me in my pen today. I got a little bit over excited about this mind you… I jumped up at Darwin whilst he was sat on the bed, nipping at him with glee and he sternly told me that he didn’t appreciate this – Oops! 

    I felt a bit sad about this and had a little sulk. Steph’s Mum kindly provided us with a second bed. I played ‘shark’ around this, imagining my brothers and sisters were on top and I was the shark, waiting to get them in the dark murky ocean. A fierce game, but I wanted to show Darwin I didn’t mean to hurt him earlier.

    Joy as that evening my accommodation was upgraded further! There was a comfy small round bed in the corner that I’d had my eye on. My bed from last night was in the wash so this cushty little round bed was put in my crate instead. The bed smelt of the strange smell I’d noticed when I first arrived. At dinner time I was surprised to notice two ghost demons’ flit through the room, briefly visit a chest of drawers with some food bowls on top and then silently vanish back upstairs again…

    Thursday 5th May 2022

    I slept blissfully last night! The best nights sleep I’ve had so far. I did still have a couple of accidents, but they were the other end of my crate, well away from my lovely bed. 

    When we were in the garden one of the ghost-demons appeared – a large fluffy white one. Darwin told me he’s called ‘Oliver’. Oliver proceeded to come in the garden to eat some grass. The second, a black & white ghost-demon appeared in the doorway, a serious unsmiling expression on his face. He regarded me from the other side of the flynet that hangs in the doorway. I wagged my tail at him in a friendly fashion, but he fizzed at me and ran off. How rude! I guess he doesn’t want to be friends then. Darwin said they are a pair of Greek guys and that they are really friendly when you get to know them, although he warned me that Dodge can be a bit fierce at times.

    The usual routine was in play today as Darwin, and I went to the kennels whilst Steph went to work. That evening was different though. Steph’s Dad & brother were around, so we spent some happy hours chilling at the end of the field. There was something interesting called a fire and I was able to fully absorb all the sights and smells of the field. I watched Dar who explained he was watching out for squirrels, rabbits, and deer. I’ve no idea what any of those look like but I catch a sniff of them from time to time. I can’t wait until I see them!  

    We were there for awhile and I couldn’t help but feel sleepy. I was kindly provided with a cardboard box with a cushion in it for a nap. Dar mentioned something about him enjoying laying in it to avoid the smoke from the fire sometimes. Dar and I took turns between sitting on Steph’s lap and using the cardboard box. It was a lovely, chilled evening. I wouldn’t have minded sharing the box with Dar, but he didn’t seem up for that just yet.  

    Friday 6th May 2022

    Today was another slightly different day. Steph was doing something called ‘Working from home’ which meant that Darwin and I got to stay home with her all day. It was lovely. We chilled out in our crates and had regular garden & play breaks, in between Steph sitting at a desk working on a computer. That bit was a bit dull, but I napped to pass the time. 

    I glimpsed Oliver & Dodger occasionally creeping down to visit their food bowl, and also saw Fluffy cat in the garden. Darwin explained her real name is ‘Custard’ and she’s a neighbour’s cat that likes to come to visit him. She seemed very wary and didn’t come too close, a wild tortoiseshell, with a look of disdain in her eye. 

    When work was done, we went for another car ride. This time it was to the vets. I was greeted by a welcoming man who picked me up to speak to me. I wasn’t phased at all and gave him a friendly nibble in greeting. All was going well, although I wanted to go on the floor with Darwin to play. I tried telling Steph, but she didn’t listen, so as a final attempt I leapt towards the ground of my own accord, resulting in the ground coming up faster than I anticipated and landing on my nose. 

    Luckily the kind vet was there to check me over and, if I’m honest and very luckily, my pride was hurt the most. When can I be treated like a fierce big dog like Darwin, rather than carried around like a mere lapdog? Mind you, maybe it’s for the best I am carried if I’m going to be so clumsy. Not sure what the going price is for nose jobs… 

    Saturday 7th May 2022

    My first weekend at home. Saturday morning consisted of chilling in my bed listening to some strange noises, apparently called washing machine, tumble dryer, and hoover. It was no biggie really; I spent my time rolling around in my bed pretending to be a dragon fighting the noisy beasts and roaring from time to time. I feel assured that if a battle commenced between the washing machine, tumble dryer or hoover demons, I would come out on top. 

    Later we went for a drive. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in the car initially so shouted in protest, but we stopped a few times, so I just decided to tap my paw and wait until the fun began. We stopped briefly at a park and from the car I could hear the ducks and saw some people. Then we stopped at Tesco, and I ate my lunch whilst listening to the hustle and bustle of people, shopping trollies and glass recycling. I must admit I shouted the first time I saw a shopping trolley, strange rattly creations, but, in the end, lunch was more important – obviously! 

    After we went back to the kennels and hung out up the field with Steph’s Dad, Brother & her Brothers Boyfriend. By that point I was cream crackered, so I had a nap in the cardboard box bed there. I pretty much missed the whole party but man, I was tired. There’s just so many new sights and sounds to absorb and I want to experience it all.

    Sunday 8th May 2022

    I thought Sunday was meant to be the day of rest?! Evidently not for this family. Terry had given us a lift home last night, I got to travel in the van. A fascinating experience as I got to see out the windows. I miss so much travelling in the cage in Steph’s car!

    This meant that we had to collect Steph’s car first thing. Whilst we were there, we also saw Steph’s Mum and the other three dachshund friends. We went for a little wonder up the field and had a photo shoot together. Probably some of the easiest treats I’ve ever worked for, maybe modelling should be a career path to consider! The bluebells in the background certainly brought out the colour of my coat! Although it did feel quite challenging having to stand still when I just wanted to copy Darwin’s happy dance and zoom around. 

    After lunch off we went for another car ride (car rides are so very boring but at least they seem to mostly end in something good… when it’s not the vets of course). The new venue was all very posh.

    Apparently, we were visiting the Queens’ Garden, or so Darwin told me. There were lots of ancient knobbly trees, sunshine, and greenery. It was all rather beautiful. Darwin was particularly excited, although he pulled a face at the harness he had to wear.

    I watched what was going on from the car but was fascinated to see Darwin sniff a car door handle (he had to be lifted for this activity, much to my amusement) and then tow Steph off into the distance. Later they explained this was ‘Mantrailing’ and Dar was following the scent of a woman, who was hiding somewhere with his pot of treats. Intriguing behaviour, Dar is so clever being able to remember the woman’s scent in his mind and how he doesn’t get distracted by all the other smells is beyond me. Just from the car I could smell more deer, pheasants, other dogs, and people. I can’t wait to be able to get on the floor and experience all this for myself. Mantrailing seems like a hoot too, I wouldn’t mind having a go.  

    Overall, it was a fun outing and again I succumbed to sleep by the end of it. Hope I didn’t miss too much! I was disappointed not to see Her Royal Highness herself but maybe next time we will. I can’t believe how much has happened in just my first week in this new life. I’m looking forward to a quiet day tomorrow whilst Steph is to work. Time to think about everything that’s happened so far and catch up on some much needed ‘Z’s.  

  • The Secret Diary of Darwin Dachshund – A Hoopers tale 

    Age: 3 years & ¾’s 

    The ‘Big at Home’ 

    Life was pretty normal, or as normal as I knew it to be, until the day of the BIG at Home. I heard Mum say that everyone had to do it and I have to say I could not complain.  

    Usually, Mum would disappear at least 5 times a week (and they say dogs can’t count!) whilst I stayed at Nanny’s house with my relatives. We squeezed our adventures & time together in over two days & the evenings. Last year this all stopped though.  

    Suddenly I got to be with Mum at home all the time, which was great. We did some training – some days I practiced fetching my dumbbell whilst other days Mum laid out strange items around the lounge, asking me to touch them, jump over them or sniff out treats hidden behind them. It was great fun and she always got extremely excited shouting ‘YES!’ and throwing treats around. I couldn’t help but wag my tail at her enthusiasm. 

    Once the weather became nicer & the days became longer, we started to go out a bit more, for longer walks again – such a relief I can say, I think it’s important to make sure one’s human gets their 10,000 steps in, even if that does mean 30,000 for me!  

    Due to the Big at Home, I hadn’t seen other humans & fellow canines so I shouted at them as fiercely as I could to remind them that Mum & I are The Boss. Unfortunately, my human always seems to get more upset, it’s hard to look fierce and comfort her at the same time. We went through this behaviour when I was younger & my human gradually became more relaxed and less worried about the other humans & dogs, so I didn’t need to act so fiercely. We’ll get back to that again one day though, I’m sure. 

    The Adventure 

    One day, Mum took me on an adventure. We hadn’t been in the car for a long time. We went for a big drive and when we stopped, I found myself in a large field with a few other humans & dogs. I started off being fierce to show whose boss but before I knew it, I was absorbed watching what the lady leading the pack wanted us to do;

    There were strange hoops, tunnels, and big barrels 

    First I was brought up to one of the ‘hoops’. Mum seemed to be excited when I was near it, and I had a ‘Eureka’ moment as I glanced at Mum then very carefully placed my paw through the Hoop. Both the lady leading & Mum went crazy & treats came my way! 

    Then I was shown the ‘tunnel’. It was a bit scary at first but reminded me of the time I played with the cats in something similar they’d been given during the time Mum calls ‘Christmas’. In no time I was bolting through it. 

    Lastly the ‘barrel’. All they seemed to want me to do was run as fast as I could around it. I think the exercises I did at home during the Big at Home really helped me understand this as I had to go round my dog food bin. 

    It was a great adventure. We went back a few times, but it was a long way to go in the car and was sometimes dark by the time we got back home. 

    The next adventure 

    Time passed and the memory of the adventure faded. We had to have another ‘At Home’ & the weather became dark & cold. 

    Once the days started to lengthen again & birds seemed happier, I found Mum putting me in the car at an unexpected time. The thrum of excitement started. Where were we going this time? 

    We went down a bumpy road and I could smell other animals. When we got out, we were next to a paddock. Other humans & dogs arrived too. I lifted my tail at the sight of them and thought about barking but they seemed to give Mum her space, so I settled quite quickly. Especially when I saw the Hoops & Tunnels again! 

    This time there was also a mat, which as I ran over Mum shouted ‘Tango!!’. I’m not sure what it means yet, but she always seems happy shouting it. There are complicated combinations of hoops, barrels & tunnels. I get to whizz as fast as my feet can carry me. My heart soars and I feel like I’m flying. Mum always seems happy when we’re working together doing this activity too, plus I know I’ll get the special treats that I never get at other times – hotdog & chicken.  

    The competition 

    Recently, Mum seemed nervous. We went out unexpectedly on a day I would usually sunbathe on the bed or out in the garden and Mum would ordinarily chill, so it was strange behaviour indeed. 

    We arrived at the normal place where we go to play with the Hoops but only this time the course was much bigger & there were other people, dogs & cars that I didn’t know. Our usual coach was there but there was also another lady with a stopwatch. 

    I’m not sure why Mum was nervous! We got to run all the way around the course together. Mum was completely out of puff, but I had the best time! Running is one of my favourite things. I was disappointed that we only got to go twice that day. 

    It was super-hot. I was surprised there was a pool that other dogs were willingly jumping into. I would usually avoid all possibilities of getting wet but to my horror, Mum placed me in the pool! 

    Once I was wet, I took it upon myself to jump back in of my own accord, just to save face and show the spaniels that it didn’t bother me as much as it appeared on my first go. 

    Towards the end of the day, Mum got an Ice cream & I was amazed and delighted to also be offered some after she’d had enough! Hoopers aside, I think Ice cream is my new favourite food! 🙂 

    The Owner 

    When I got Darwin, I thought dachshunds were lapdogs and I could look forward to many years of cuddling & feeding but no dog training. How wrong can you be! 

    Darwin’s sass needed reining in, so we went to basic obedience classes, which led to managing to somehow obtain our Good Citizen awards and then Corona Virus hit. Once lifted I wanted to try and find some activity to continue our training, primarily so Darwin & I could continue strengthening our relationship but also to continue socialising Darwin around other people & dogs. 

    We were thrilled to discover Hoopers (& Man trailing but that’s another story!). Hoopers is a great low contact sport that encourages all dogs & owners to get involved. I had considered agility but was worried about his dachshund back and Hoopers gives us a happy medium. As Darwin mentioned we went to our first show recently and were amazed to manage to get a third-place rosette. It was such fun & I’m looking forward to learning more about this sport & having fun days out with Darwin.  

  • The Tiger & the Mouse.

    Funny how one day you can wake up

    And the darkness engulf

    See no way out of the mist

    Why care about this stuff?

    The blackness drags you down

    No light in sight

    Demons are dancing 

    All through the night

    What’s the point in this life

    What difference do I make

    What can I change despite all the strife

    Must paint that smile on ready to fake

    Unexceptional

    Undervalued

    Unappreciated 

    And misunderstood 

    A smiling tiger is waiting

    For you 

    Alone 

    In the deep dark woods

    Soft words on the tongue

    White teeth razor sharp

    Draws you in with kind words 

    As if it’s some kind of art

    Amber eyes gazing

    Large paws kneading

    Striped tail flicking

    Can already smell bleeding

    Ready to strike the blow

    And enjoying the power

    Enthusiastically waiting 

    For that final hour

    No care of the damage

    The demons unleashed

    Darkness ensuing

    Somebody please tame this beast

    Toying with food

    As its a game

    Malice and torment

    As if it’s a claim to fame 

    Poor little mouse

    Like a lamb to the slaughter

    Feel like drawing

    Can’t get your head above water

    A chance to escape

    A crack of light

    You may need to keep running

    All alone through the night

    Run little mouse

    There’s no time to scream

    Your demons are coming 

    This isn’t a dream.

  • It was My Mistake: Chapter 1

    It was a cool autumns day, the copper leaves falling regularly. Lots of things were happening with life. Primarily I felt trapped in a realm where I shouldn’t be.

    My family are woodland folk. A little like hobbits from the shire, we like food and drink and working hard in between. Our magic is green and calm and like lightening in between.

    I’d fallen a little off piste, so to speak, thinking I’d found Mr Right in a pixie who was slightly irresponsible, busy – busy head, busy life, busy, busy. No time for relationships or discussing things. No patience to listen to my thoughts and opinions on things, to come to a compromise between us.

    So I left.

    Freedom.

    One moment skipping out between the tall strong beech trees, with their little spikey casings raining down through the autumn months. Rustle of browning autumn leaves. Squirrels enthusiastically nipped about between their roots, snatching at the fallen treasure, so busy with their work to notice anything other than the invaluable task at hand – before winter comes.

    The next, I tripped and fell, into the dark realm.

    And so it begins….

    First the hit of darkness.

    It rips at your soul. Tiny daggers of the coldest webs of fear, tangling around your heart, ensnaring. Tearing you down further.

    You feel yourself falling. Deeper still. Wanting to cling on to something but the web of fear and despair drag you down further.

    Pulling you down into the abyss. Like you can’t breathe.

    I wondered if I’m having a heart attack, is this what it is to die?

    Down

    Down

    Down

    Down

    Eventually.. you stop falling.

    And you wait, to see if you are actually dead.

    Apparently I was not.

    ‘Hello?’

    Silence

    The darkness was so entombing I can hardly breathe

    Every movement, echoing in the cold dark solitude

    Wind picks up around me, enhancing the solitude and echoing in the bleak macabre situation I find myself in

    I lay still for what feels like an eternity, flexing different parts of my body, checking for injuries

    I think I’m somehow unharmed

    How our Green God Spirit only knows

    There’s no green here now

    As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I look around. There seems to be a faint translucent light to my right

    I start to crawl towards it

    Slowly

    Slowly

    My cold sad heart slowly beating

    I can’t die here.

    Anxiety sweeps through my body. Cold sweat wetting my scalp.

    I crawl onwards towards the faint light, the cold breeze chilling the sweat.

    At some point I must have passed out.

    The sweet chirrup of chaffinch infiltrates my foggy dark mind.

    I slowly open my eyes and find myself looking up at dark tall pine trees.

    I have no idea where I am.

    What a bloody good idea it was to just run off. Well done me.

    I always make the Best decisions!

    I ache all over, but actually, as I flex each bone, nothing seems broken. How I’ll never know.

    I slowly stand up and look around.

    A fine morning mist whisps between the slender trees and the smell of ferns emanates around me.

    I take a first tentative step, in which direction I don’t know

    Suddenly I figure, Fuck it!

    Lets just go with this new situation, what does it matter anyway. Anything better than the numb grey that I’d found myself stuck in in recent years.

    I stomp out in any direction as if nothing can hold me down.

    How bloody annoying, my father such a powerful magi that he can create all sorts of spells to prevent the plants from succumbing to their nemesis

    My mother, an empath and also able to nurture the plants and animals to her will, protecting them and enabling balance

    Then there’s me

    What can I do

    Nothing it seems

    But make poor life choices

    STOMP STOMP STOMP

    Now I’m in this shit hole

    In Green Goodess only knows where

    I am so PISSED OFF actually!!

    I run through the woods now, not caring which way I turn, following the paths that are naturally carved out there by who knows who or what.

    Why should I care. The song ‘just around the river bend’ comes to mind. How ironic. I take comfort in knowing it’s putting distance between my past and whatever weird presence I now find myself in. And I just don’t care.

    Funny isn’t it. They say when you find yourself in these situation, reach for help, ask for something but there’s no asking. There’s only feeling. Feeling Every Fucking Thing.

    And Green Godess I’m tired. Tired of being incapable. Tired of being sad. Tired of trying.

    Lets just Run Run Run.

    Something rustles in the bushes nearby and I freeze

    I hold my breathe. Not daring to move a muscle.

    I have no idea where I am by this point – not that I did post falling…

    A silhouette no more than 10 meters from me

    A pixie form but it doesn’t move as such…

    Standing tall and sniffing the air around us

    A chill fills my bones as I watch

    It turns towards me

    And I see cold black dead eyes – not the vibrant blue of a pixie

    It sniffs the air, taking it’s time

    The wind is blowing away from my direction

    It suddenly takes off that way

    What the hell???

    I don’t know what that thing was…

    But I sure as hell do not want to meet up with it again any time soon

    I walk on, more carefully now

    The dark damp foliage touching my thighs, hips

    Creeping through the undergrowth, wondering what other hidden creatures might await. I hadn’t considered my own safety when I was feeling all that anger

    An owl hoots, loudly in the distance, its shriek a piercing sound in the solitude

    And given it’s daylight, it feels alien in this strange space

    It sets my nerves on edge

    Surely, I’m not that far from home really…

    I start to jog

    Grateful to no longer be in the darkness but also totally freaked out by the sinister creature earlier

    Another rustle in the undergrowth and I still

    A crack of a stick somewhere behind me is all it took

    Panic engulfs me and I run

    Sprinting ahead, brambles tearing at my clothes as I tear through the overgrown plants

    All of a sudden my feet meet thin air and I am tumbling

    A sharp hill, roots and stems connecting with me in an unkind fashion

    I’ve always been impulsive and I know I act on my emotions but this is ridiculous

    The ground comes up fast to meet me and it goes dark.

    When I open my eyes it’s dark again

    The trees rustle around me

    A bark goes off in the distance

    It moves around me in the night

    Bark Bark.

    Logic instils itself in my brain

    It sounds like a deer

    A herbivore

    Something that shouldn’t necessarily harm me

    Jeez I ache at this point

    Well, this really is a fine mess I’ve found myself in. If I harnessed better powers, I might just magic my way out of this situation but alas

    I look up above me, in between the trees a few stars start to litter the sky

    I’m suddenly desperately thirsty and think I can hear running water nearby so carefully move in that direction

    As I move, something glowing catches my eye, slightly covered by leaves – a strange emerald, green glint

    I bend down and brush away the dirt, loosening the earths grip on the treasure it hides

    It’s something hard and round but with edges and it seems to be on a chain or necklace…

    I pocket it so I can have a better look at it in the light of day.

    Before long I’m near the waters edge, a gentle stream bubbling in between the overhanging trees and shrubs

    Thirstily I guzzle the cool fresh welcome water

    What an absolute relief! Maybe there’s hope yet

    Although, the water has hit my empty stomach.. I could really do with some food.

    Thoughtfully I gaze up the brook considering my options

    In the distance I can still hear the deer barking their greetings to one another and I hope that strange pixie is nowhere nearby…

    Something knocks my foot, and I stare down at the invasion of my space

    An empty can floats on the waters surface and after connecting with my foot bobs backwards and continues its journey down the stream

    A moment later I notice a second one too, the strange litter looking alien amongst the organic woodland scenery

    So, there must be people upriver… maybe they could give me some sort of directions as to how to get out of this situation!

    I hastily start to pick my way up the stream in the darkness, hoping against hope that my clumsiness is over and done with for the day and that I don’t end up soaking wet, because that really would complete things wouldn’t it!

    As I round a bend in the stream the faint smell of wood smoke and food reaches my nose. My mouth waters

    I hope with all my heart these people are friendly

    Another can bobs past me on its reckless journey downstream

    A small sandy inlet lays just ahead and within that, slightly further back into the woods, a clearing is visible with a fire in the centre

    I decide to tread carefully and circle round into the dark woods to get a better look at this before giving myself away

    As I move closer, I can see a large black pot with something tasty simmering inside, perched on top of a glowing fire. A figure is positioned on a log nearby

    They tunelessly whistle to themselves contentedly as they get up to stir the pot, long outdoor coat billowing slightly in the breeze

    It’s hard to make out any features from this position but they appear to be unarmed

    As I consider whether to give myself away there is a sudden movement from behind me and before I know it two confident paws are shoving me straight out into the clearing

    I stagger forwards and turn to see who my assailant is as I elegantly land flat on my backside

    A beautiful red fox smirks at me, flicking her bushy red and cream tail as I gawp up from the dusty stoney ground I’ve landed on

    The figure pauses from their stirring with surprise, whistling immediately ceasing

    ‘I’m so sorry’ I stammer through the shock of yet another clumsy incident – how many can one person have in a few days?!

    The man strides over, the tails of the long black coat trailing along in their awake and with a slight bow and flourish of a hand says ‘Sorry love, Gyspy doesn’t like intruders’

    I take the warm hand, vaguely registering a dark blue sapphire ring on the middle finger, which catches in the light, as I am unceremoniously pulled back to my feet, dusting myself off with embarrassment

    ‘I was just looking for directions to be honest…’ I start to explain uncertainly, absorbing the mans mop of unkept shaggy brown hair. He seems harmless enough..

    ‘Well as you’re here, supper is just about brewed, if you care for some?’ he offers, ‘we caught rabbits earlier so it’s a true feast this evening’

    Without waiting to answer he starts serving some into three bowls and Gyspy shifts around impatiently, hovering in the shadows

    He places a bowl on the floor for Gyspy, passes me a spoon and bowl and sits back down on the log with his own bowl, rummaging about in an oversized, but apparently empty, brown bag positioned next to him

    A large loaf of bread appears, and he tears a generous lump off for each of us

    I’m still standing at this point a bit dazed by the whole spectacle

    ‘Please pull up a seat…’ he suggests waving an arm towards a suggested location

    Hesitantly I sit, back against a neighbouring log, enjoying the sudden warmth and glow of the fire

    Both this unusual character and Gyspy are tucking into their meal with relish

    The temptation is too strong, so I give in and follow suit

    He finishes well before me and starts his tuneless whistling once more, gazing into the fire

    As I scrape the last of the delicious morsels into my grateful belly, I ask ‘what is that you’re whistling..’

    ‘I wonder’ was the response

    I look at him waiting further explanation and after a silence confirm ‘I have no idea what that is’

    ‘Oh not a big Kanye West fan then, no?’ he chuckles again, green eyes sparkling with mirth

    Unsure the point of the joke or where to go next with conversation I turn my gaze to the dancing glittering gold amber flames, listening to the babble of the brook behind us

    After a lengthy silence he starts rummaging around in the ridiculous bag once more.

    Out comes some sleeping bags and ground mats which he throws down on the ground next to the log, a couple of pillows, a large duvet blanket which is gently folds and places slightly away from the fire. Gyspy gives me a reproachful look before snuggling up in the centre, tail over her nose but sharp eyes still keeping watch. Then comes a couple of the cans of drink – presumably this is where the cans had come from that were currently making their way down the beautiful stream

    ‘Appletiser?’ he asks passing one in my direction without waiting for my response

    ‘It’s only the best drink in the world… maybe even the galaxy, rare to come by now though. Luckily, I met a trader a few weeks ago and we made a deal… I definitely got the better end of it…’ his eyes glitter again mischievously

    I’m not sure what questions to ask first.

    ‘Finley of the Forest Folk, my love’ he raises an eyebrow at me, ‘or Fin to my friends’

    ‘Fern’ I reply more out of politeness than anything, I mean he has just shared his supplies and campfire with me, with little information about myself

    ‘Who are the Forest Folk?’ I ask

    ‘They’re my family really’ he explains, ‘took me in when I was a youngster, raised me, cared for me. We move around the forest striking deals with other travellers to get by. It’s not the easiest of lives but we get by, as you can tell by the banquet bestowed upon us tonight’ he smiles, the act lighting up his face. ‘Today is a good day m’love’

    ‘And to add to it Gypsy and I have company, which is nice, even if Gypsy disagrees. She’s never been fond of newcomers’

    At this point Gypsy flicks her tail, beady dark eyes still keeping an eye on things and clearly making it known that she is still awake and paying attention. The wind rustles the remaining leaves in the almost bare trees and fluffs up her beautiful soft-looking auburn coat.

    ‘And what prey tell, brings a maiden so fair to our part of the woods’ Fin asks

    ‘Well to be honest I’m a little bit lost, as I said, I was going to ask for directions. Although truth be told I’m not entirely sure where I’m headed right now either…’ I trail off

    ‘Well, if it helps ya out m’love, we are headed west in the morning. I’ve been told there’s a trading post a few miles from here. We’re headed there to scope out any handy deals in the morning. You’re most welcome to join us if you wish…’ Fin tips his drink in a cheers

    ‘Thanks, I might just take you up on that actually’ I respond, returning the cheers

    Green Goddess forgive me, but Appletiser is actually pretty fucking good.

    The Next Day…

    The next morning, I wake feeling like a new person

    A Robin sings it’s heart out nearby; I’d been lulled throughout the night by the fading crackle of the campfire and the babble of the stream in the background. The sun was almost dazzling, still low between the trees. It felt like a fresh new day.

    Fin was moving about packing up already, Gypsy was nowhere to be seen.

    I hastily got slithered out of the sleeping bag

    ‘No need to rush’ Fin says with a smile, ‘Carpe Diem though, plus it is a truly beautiful morning’

    I carry everything over to the pile he’d been gathering and watch in wonder as he carefully folds items or packs them away and places them into the still empty looking, oversized bag – what is this, Mary Poppins’ carpet bag? Was he going to pull a hat stand out of it next?

    ‘Where’s Gypsy’ I ask

    ‘She goes off roaming, particularly in the early hours of the morning. She’s a free spirit – a bit like me I guess, maybe that’s why we get on. She’ll catch up when she’s good and ready though…’ was Fin’s casual reply

    Once everything was packed away, he pauses thoughtfully for a heartbeat

    Next, he rummages around in the bag and pulls out an actual hat… a lady’s bonnet adorned with flowers no less

    He poses for a heartbeat, jauntily adorning it with a flourish and a pose

    ‘How do I look??’ he smiles, green eyes glimmering

    I look dumbfounded… ‘Urr great’ I reply somewhat confused

    He laughs, a jingling infectious sound making me smile in return

    ‘hmmmm’ he says rummaging around once more

    A second hat appears, this one complete with tassels, some sort of winter hat, as if the tassels are rainbow hair

    ‘This one perhaps?’ he asks

    I literally laugh out loud at this.

    ‘I agree’ he says removing it and rummaging again…

    Next comes some sort of beret in a shocking red colour, making him look very arty

    ‘And does madame think this one may do?’ he inquires with a serious look but still light ringing in his eyes

    ‘Urrr’ is all I can say, not being able to help myself but still smile

    Finally, a serious grey top hat is pulled from the confusing bag.

    He perches it loftily on his head. Turns and winks at me

    ‘Gotta dress the part’ he says.

    It suits him although not the woodland environment we currently inhabit yet compliments the soft dark leather of his long jacket.

    On that note it appears we are ready to depart

    As we meander through the scenic woodland, reminding me a lot of home, I relax around Fin and explain how I came to be both truly lost and miles from my village, but also trying to escape the life I had

    In turn he listens thoughtfully, absorbing everything I’m saying

    After I while curiosity gets the better of me

    ‘Where’s your hat come from? I’ve never seen anything like it’

    Fin responds, ‘Well m’love, from the city of course. Governed by a rabble of over opinionated, over inflated pixie high and mighty lords. But that’s not to say I can’t appreciate good fashion sense…’

    Fascination sweeps over me as I ponder the idea of a city. Our little village has little interaction with the outside world. Occasionally travellers will pass through or join the village – like my Mr Right who had joined our village when I was a teenager. He didn’t speak of a city or much about his past in truth, too busy with projects and living in the now.

    ‘What’s it like there?’ I ask

    ‘Nay it’s not somewhere I’d recommend going’ was the abrupt response from Fin, ‘I avoid it as best I can and heard through the grape vine that there’s a terrible plague there at present….’

    Apparently, that was the end of the conversation as hustle and bustle noises start to bleed through the forest…

    The Trading Post…

    We step out into a clearing, slight mist lifting between the trees in the morning sunshine, where two paths through the forest converge and suddenly all manner of characters are mingling, chatting and bartering, baying and barking

    It’s bedlam and slightly overwhelming to say the least!

    ‘Stick with me love, I’ve gotta find my pal Jono, he’s meant to be sourcing something for me… might have directions for you too…’

    We push through the crowds, groups of people gathering in front of shouting trades persons, offering their wares and declaring their value

    Carts and wagons attached to impatient or tired looking animals were parked haphazardly in the background of the clearing

    The smell of meat & eggs cooking and wood smoke from the fires mingles on the air

    Fin seems to know where he’s going so there’s nothing more to do than follow him or else be separated and Green Goddess knows how I would find him again

    Or maybe this is where we should depart? I need to find someone to give directions…

    But the thought of trying to approach any of these busy impatient folk seems a daunting idea

    My palms sweat and heart rate goes up

    This really is overwhelming.

    We reach a quieter corner of the clearing where a small brown tent stands

    Fin turns and tips his top hat at me with a flourish and a smirk says ‘I’ll be right back’, pulling back the tent door and vanishing into the darkness within

    Exasperatedly I peer after him

    Quite clearly, I’m not meant to follow.  

    I gaze across the busy area in front of me and my heart longs for the peace of home.

    One merchant holds up a poor chicken by her back legs and proclaims her to be the best egg layer in history as eager spectators shout offerings of items or money to trade for her. She flaps her wings uselessly, clearly alarmed at it all as well

    Another trader nearby holds a rug over one shoulder, glittering gold rings on his fingers sparkle in the sunshine as he displays the rug with a confident smile – apparently also the best rug any forest folk could hope to find

    Doubt starts to creep into my consciousness

    These people all seem a little shady and certainly out for their own gains…

    I can’t even catch anyone’s eye to ask for directions, they’re all so absorbed in this frantic exchange of goods

    All of a sudden Fin materialises beside me, adjusting his top hat, closely followed by a large burly looking man, who I presume to be Jono

    Fin looks at me. A dark shutter descends his handsome usually animated features.

    No more jokes or warmth or sparkly eyes.

    ‘Sorry love, it’s only business… and after all, you owe me for the bed and dinner…’

    A slight smirk reaches his lips

    ‘I’ll pay you back again next time…

    (And is almost to himself with a slight shake of his head….)

    This too will pass…’

    Jono turns to me with a cold stare and before I had a chance to think, grabs my forearm.

    He marches me towards a nearby cart, dragging me past the two large docile highland cows tethered to the waggon. One with auburn shaggy hair, beautiful intimidating horns curled to the sky. The other a maple syrup coloured shaggy complexion. Neither look keen to pull the wooden waggon tethered to them, sad slow looks on their bashful eyes as the beautiful sad creatures stamp their hooves

    Jono makes sure a whip is clear, hanging against his hip, so there’s no questioning the plan of action.

    I struggle in his grip, but he flings me into a small door at the rear and firmly closes it behind me.

    I hear him shout to Fin, ‘Please doing business again lad..’

    I whimper in the dark interior, as it sways into motion, the smell of stale hay meeting me

    How could I be so stupid

    What fate lay before me now?

    A dark coldness shrouds my heart, and tears prick my eyes as the realisation of the betrayal starts to sink into my soul.

    He seemed so nice??!

    I peer through the wooden runners and all I can see is Fin, back to the departing waggon, apparently counting something and now a sparkly happy Gypsy is by his side once more, perched jauntily on top of what appears to be a crate of Appletiser.

    I’ve never felt more alone

    Like a silent promise has been betrayed

    How could he do this? After seeming so kind and helpful

    This won’t rip me apart.

    Determination sears through my veins

    I won’t die at his cruel hands.

    The wagon rocks along the rocky woodland trail for what seems like an age

    Trees pass us by as we follow a trail

    I start to lose all sense of time as the despair of my situation truly dawns on me

    To the Green Goddess with Fin, he clearly feels no guilt for this either.

    In fact, it was like he was loving every minute of my stupid naivete

    I played right into his hands and allowed him to take advantage; thought I was flying away from my problems and now this

    If anything, he looked like he enjoyed seeing my anguish

    It’s like he was two very different people

    A sick feeling sinks in my stomach.

    Woodland folk aren’t like that, we’re honest and kind. What sort of world is this I’ve stumbled into?

    The wagon eventually comes to a stop…

  • Hunting men – A Dachshund Prayer.

    Harness, strapped and ready.  

    Tail high and alert.  

    Paws tingling in anticipation.  

    Scents lingering in the dirt.  

    I know the man is hiding. 

    With my treat surprise.  

    I feel him near.  

    I am ready for the challenge.  

    My heart it holds no fear.  

    Wind, causes confusion.  

    Check in ears.  

    Check in eyes.  

    No sound or sight.  

    Long line droops with doubt.  

    My handler smiles with encouragement.  

    As my senses try to scout.  

    My eyes are near the floor,

    Struggle to see far or very high.

    I’m eager to explore though,

    I repress a feral war cry.

    My legs are short & stocky,

    Despising long wet grass,

    But even when it’s boggy,

    I can Mantrail with class.

    My ansesstors were fearless,

    Tackling badgers was their aim,

    And though they may be small,

    They rarley lost their game.

     It is in my genetics,

    And patience is the key,

    My misper* will be hiding,

    The trail shows him flee.

    Nose sharp and ready,

    I quiver in excitement,

    Wind changes direction,

    I’m eager to serve indictment!

    I am small.  

    But I am mighty!  

    A shriek rips from my lips. 

    Tail wagging, 

    I’ve got him now,  

    His scent is clear!  

    I tow my handler close,  

    I can feel him near.  

    I may only be a Dachshund,  

    A tiny hound at that.  

    A lap and cuddle are welcomed,  

    When I fancy taking a nap.  

    Right now, we’re on the trail,  

    The end it is in sight.  

    Determination is my strategy.  

    A valiant small red Knight!  

    I have caught up with him now,  

    The trail it ends here.

    He may have been hunted,  

    But he’s still a friend I hold dear.  

    Until the next time we trail,  

    And excitement sparks again.  

    For I the mighty Dachshund, 

    Love mantrailing.  

    A Woof and Amen.

    * A ‘Misper’ is a mantrailing term for a missing person